Vitamin B-12, Sex &
by Robert Cohen,
Author or Milk A-Z, and NotMilk.com
Warning to my readers:
Today's column contains explicit sexual themes. If you embarrass
easily, or if your religious, moral, or ethical beliefs
prevent you from reading material of a sexual nature, please,
read no more. In today's commentary, I discuss the science
of sex in as dignified and delightful a manner as I am able,
sometimes using a bit of humor, but continuously recognizing
that such concepts may be offensive to some people, so please,
if you find such discussion inappropriate, stop reading
immediately. If you are easily offended by material of a
sexual nature, please exercise the use of your delete button
Without embarrassment, this
is a subject that needs to be discussed. I am past the point
of being disgusted by know-it-all vegetarian and vegan nutritionists
and dieticians who believe that one must take artificial
supplements derived from cow intestines, containing Vitamin
B-12 in order to maintain good health. The fact that vegans
have B-12 in their bloodstreams is evidence enough that
we're somehow obtaining it. Low dose, high dose, it really
doesn't matter. Fact is that we need just a few micrograms
of B-12, and a five-year supply is stored in the average
human liver. That fact alone negates the scare tactics of
those who criticize the pure vegan diet, or dispense supplements
as a part of their self-sustaining practices.
Vegan blood contains some
B-12. In that, there is no debate. Vegan semen and vaginal
secretions contain many times more Vitamin B-12 than does
The solution? Make love.
Enjoy oral sex. The ingestion of sexual body secretions
from your lover will insure good health for you.
In addition to the usual
frogs, snails, and puppy dogs tails, what are little boys
made of? What exactly is in semen?
Ten percent of semen consists
of sperm cells, up to 500 million per ejaculate. It takes
only one sperm cell to fertilize an egg. I often wonder
why the other 499,999 are necessary.
What constitutes the other
90% of semen? In addition to enormous amounts of vitamins,
enzymes, and amino acids, semen contains up to 20 times
the level of Vitamin B-12 as does human blood serum. Vaginal
fluids contain a similar makeup, rich in B-12.
Scientists knew this nearly
20 years ago, but had no socially-tactful way to transmit
this information to the lay person. (Yeah, I know, you love
my use of the English language).
As early as March of 1984,
Carmel Bernstein and a team of investigators published evidence
in the Journal of Clinical Investigations (73;3, Vitamin
B-12 in human seminal plasma) revealing that blood has one-tenth
the amount of B-12 as does male semen.
Eight years later, the Scandanavian
Journal of Clinical Laboratory Investigations (Hansen, 1992
Nov;52(7):647-52) determined that B-12 levels in human semen
run as high as 20 times that of blood. Similar amounts of
B-12 have been found in vaginal secretions.
Second and final warning.
For those of you unwilling or unable to discuss or partake
in the loving art of cunnilingus or fellatio, read no more.
What follows is descriptive.
Many people have an aversion
to oral sex because of the taste or smell. Can that often
be justified? Absolutely.
Long ago, in the days before
artificial modern-day perfumes and deodorants were used
to mask human odors, people enjoyed body smells. Don Juan
would keep handkerchiefs under his armpits and wave them
in front of ladies' noses. That action was designed to bring
them to arousal from his own natural essences and bouquet
which contained pheromones, chemicals containing natural
sexual messengers that communicate instinctual feelings
shared by all mammals. Truth revealed: Why does a male dog
mount and hump a human female leg, thrusting his pelvis
as if in the act of copulation? It's not because he smells
your puppy, ladies. It's because he smells your very own
pheromones which trigger a genetically pre-determined fixed
action pattern in Fido's brain.
On to the olfactory bouquet
from your own essences.
Dairy farmers know that if
their cows eat onions or garlic less than 30 minutes before
milking, those powerfully offensive smells will be included
in their body secretions which are then transmitted to their
milk. A similar event occurs with human body fluids. You
are what you eat. Deer know when meat-eating humans walk
into the woods. Vegans have a way with denizens of the forest.
Vegans do not eat other living creatures. Deer can tell
by human smells. So can dogs and other mammals possessing
keener olfactory senses than humans.
For many years, non dairy-using
Japanese people called Americans "butter-people,"
for the rancid smell that would seep out of our pores. I
can smell butter people. I am amazed at the number of people
calling themselves vegan who are actually dairy users. I
can smell the aftermath of pizza 24 hours after a vegan
eats one by his or her offensive odor. The mozzarella turns
rancid from within. Its smell lingers on a user's breath.
Milk the cow and get the garlic or onion milk. Milk the
human and get Kentucky-fried chicken essence.
Humans who eat meat ingest
large amounts of sulfur-based amino acids. That is one of
the qualities of meat protein. The sulfur becomes a part
of their own smell and taste. Eat large amounts of methionine
and you'll taste quite rancid.
I have met many vegans who
relate anecdotal evidence of how other vegans make better
lovers because they "taste better." Where are
Masters and Johnson when you need them? The good that comes
from this column will result in two lovers enjoying a large
meal of fresh pineapple before their next bout of foreplay.
Gourmets and epicurians of the world, unite. Your next dose
of love will contain the best vitamin pill in the world.
Was it Mary Poppins who sang, "Just a spoonful of sugar
helps the medicine go down"?
Remember, for B-12, make
love, and do so with good taste.